Thursday, December 29, 2011


I got cleared to do zumba!!! That makes me sooooo happy. But now I'm sick and feeling doen, so I might have to wait a few days, but yay for good news!!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011


Really bad food choices this week. ;( Too many sweets = too many unwanted calories. And it was way to windy for my walk today. I would have went despite feeling like crap.

Question, after surgery, when did you start really exercising again? I want to back to zumba so bad.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Meet Me On Monday - Christmas Edition.

Blogging  is a funny thing...we tell our most intimate thoughts for all to read  and yet most of the time I find myself sitting and wondering, "who is  this person!?"  I know them...but yet I don't know them!  I want  to know who the person is behind all those words so I thought of a great  way for all of us to "meet" each other!

Every Sunday Never Growing Old will post five get to know you  questions that you can copy and paste into your own Monday post and we  can all learn a little more about each and every one of us!!
1.Wrapping paper or gift bags?
2.Real or artificial tree?
3.When do you put your tree up?
4.When do you take your tree down?
5.Do you like eggnog?
6.Do you have a nativity scene?
7.Favorite Christmas Movie?
8.Favorite Christmas cookie?
9.Where will you eat Christmas dinner?
10.Angel, bow or star on top of your tree?
11.Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
12.Do you like Fruitcake?
13.What are you most excited about the holidays?
14.Do you open presents Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning?
15.Will you still be wrapping presents on Christmas Eve?
My Answers:
1.Wrapping paper or gift bags?
We do both.

2.Real or artificial tree? We always went out and cut down a real tree at my parents, but since being in our apartment, we now do artificial.
3.When do you put your tree up? Usually after Thanksgiving.

4.When do you take your tree down? First or 2nd week of Jan.

5.Do you like eggnog? No

6.Do you have a nativity scene? No

7.Favorite Christmas Movie? A Christmas Story, National Lampoon's, and all the cute little cartoon ones.

8.Favorite Christmas cookie? Peanut butter blossoms!

9.Where will you eat Christmas dinner? At my moms house.

10.Angel, bow or star on top of your tree? We have an ornament that looks like a 3D star from Target. It's gold and glittery. :)

11.Most annoying thing about this time of the year?  All the money that is spent (agreed Robyn)

12.Do you like Fruitcake? No thanks

13.What are you most excited about the holidays? My new BFF (my band), and just being with loved ones

14.Do you open presents Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning? Brian and I do ours to each other on Christmas Eve, then we go to my moms on Christmas morning around 9 and do those, then we go to his moms around 4ish and do more. :)

15.Will you still be wrapping presents on Christmas Eve?  Prolly not.


It's been awhile. I've been good, just working, shopping, sleeping, walking, ect.

Cannot believe that Christmas is in 6 days! Craziness! I still have to get my dad something and wrap a few more things. Not too bad.

My 27th birthday was yesterday, Brian got me a Nook tablet (yay!) reading a book about Michael Jackson, written by his longtime friend Frank Cascio. It's really good so far. He also got me a Philosophy thing called "Birthday Girl", yummy! It has a body wash/shampoo/bubble bath called Grace, a face moisturizer called Purity, a lip balm/gloss in Vanilla Cake, a foot lotion called "Soul" and a hand/cuticle lotion. Love it! His mom also got me a Sephora gift card which came with a cute Sephora pocket mirror. :) And tomorrow I'm going to get a tattoo (thanks to my mom!) for my birthday. Going to an awesome guy named Ron at Established Tattoos off of Paxton St. Appointment is at 5:30, can't wait! I'm getting the words "Break Down the Walls, Break Down the Shame", it's a line from a poem I wrote. I'm getting it on my left clavicle area. Can't wait!

On to accountability, I'm fluctuating between 17-20 lbs loss so far. A bit frustrating, but I know I'm still healing inside, ect. Most between 249.6-251. And I measured today and I lost 12 inches on my hips! Yay for my first true NSV!

Where I work, we get TONS of goodies for the holidays and I've been really good the past few weeks (mainly b/c I didn't want to sabotaged the healing process). Last week and today = no good. My willpower was weak, I was weak. I caved. I have truffles, peanut brittle, toffee, and some other chocolate goodies. Ugh!!! Can't even calculate the calories, which drives me nuts! I'm so upset with myself, I really need to get my sweet tooth under control and get a better handle on my attitude about this. Other than that, I'm doing great with eating, good portions, recognizing my soft stops, not drinking water during or for an hour after, eating protein first, ect. I think I'm doing decent, but I want to do better. Tomorrow is another day to do that.

Can't believe it will be a month already this Thursday! Craziness. I'm excited to really get this thing started. I've been walking for the past week, so far, so good, in fact I love it! A bit boring, but it'll do for now. I did an hour tonight around my town and I loved it! Saw really nice homes, cool lights, some cute puppies, nice people. All in all, a good walk. I think I need to update my playlists, getting bored with the same crap.

Anyways, that's about it for now. Going to paint my nails/toe nails and relax. Ciao!

Sunday, December 11, 2011


Starting chicken, fish and tuna this week! Yahoo!!!

I believe I will be getting a tattoo for my bday next week. I have way too many ideas and they all mean something; but I'm thinking a line from a poem I wrote on my right foot or left shoulder blade. "Break Down the Walls, Break Down the Shame".

Yay! Off to bed, gotta try and get some sleep for work tmrw. :/


Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Follow up

I had my follow up appointment today with Dr. Davidson. It went VERY well. :) He was shocked when he saw that I lost 14 lbs so far in 2 weeks, he said "You are ahead of the game". Yay!

Incisions are fine, the rash is fine, he seems to think it's a yeast infection and recommended a antifungal creme, tried Rite Aid, but didn't find what he said "niacin" or something like that. I'll try again tmrw or Friday. It's not itchy anymore, so maybe it'll go away on its own.

I go back for my 2nd appointment on January 11th and he said I should get an adjustment then. A bit nervous, but that's what this is all about, so I'm down. :) He also said don't get nervous/worried/panicky if I start to get really hungry and can eat more, he said the internal inflammation will start to go away in the next few weeks and it will get tougher, but I have so much faith in myself, I just keep repeating "I got this" over and over. So far, so good. :)

Getting ready for some dinner, not sure what, but can't wait! I love not feeling hungry ALL the damn time.

Ciao, for now!

Monday, December 05, 2011


Kind of gross, but felt like posting it. It's insanely itchy sometimes and okay other times.

One day at a time

Scrambled egg w/ slice of cheese - check.

1/2 cup applesauce - check.

Protein drink - check.

Half of a red beet pickled egg - check.

Lots of water (w/ more coming) - check.

Dinner will be refried beans w/ salsa and cheese. Yummy!

I went and bought non fat cottage cheese (weis brand) and no sugar added apple butter from Strite's Orchard. Yum! First time trying cottage cheese, we'll see.

Felt pretty good today, minus a small stomachache in the afternoon. Got tons of compliments about how "skinny" I'm looking, yay! Always good to hear those. ;) It's really noticeable on my face and wrists. NSV's!!

Loving that my scale says I lost 11 lbs. since surgery. Yay! Clothes are looser, shoes are looser and I feel better already. Minus my rash around my port incision, found put it's common, but seems weird.

My follow-up appointment is this Wednesday at 2:45, can't wait to continue healing and really get things going, esp. with exercise. Maybe I'll get the go to start walking more.

Tons of holiday party things going on at work. But I feel good about not overdoing it anymore. We get tons of gift baskets filled with candy, sweets, cupcakes, popcorn, etc etc from now till the new year in my department. Can't wait to ignore those. :)

Luncheon this Friday, food party next Wednesday, a lawyer taking us out for lunch next Friday, and then a firm is having lunch catered to us on the 22nd. Time to put this band into gear and make great choices. I will, of course, be bringing my own food to all of these events, in case there's no mushies. :/


Sunday, December 04, 2011


I thought I was ready for my soft foods diet (starting tmrw!), but I'm a bit worried now. Ugh! So afraid of overdoing it or getting stuck already. :(

I just made hard boiled eggs, but after reading a bit more online, most people can't tolerate them. But in my aftercare book, it says hard-boiled, so I'll try one. Now, scrambled eggs, yes, def. a do. But they say "soft", which must be different than what I normally make. Ugh. How confusing. I still have plenty of puddings, protein drinks, but I want more. Def. going to be some mashed potatoes/baked potatoes this week, but holy cow am I nervous about starting this phase.

I need suggestions, more, I read applesauce too, which I have, but some say "strained", I'm pretty sure my applesauce isn't chunky. I'm also planning on refried beans, I've got some salsa and cheese, I have bought black beans so I can puree them for something different. It also says oatmeal, which I love, but I usually don't like it runny, so I'll try to cope with that. I think I'll probably try cottage cheese/sweet potatoes for the first time as well. I also bought some canned green beans (this is suggested in my book) from the Dr. I do have some fruit in water peaches, no sweetener.

I'm super excited to add more variety, but very nervous about being too "full" to even get any real food down. My eyes are def. bigger than my "stoma" at this point. :P I'll just take it one minute at a time, chew, chew, no drinking while eating, small bites, etc. I got this!

But any other suggestions or recipes would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!


Thursday, December 01, 2011

Another day...

Still feeling not quite like myself and getting restless and annoyed. My stomach is bothering me quite a bit today. Was constipated this morning, now it's the opposite. Ugh. Ended up taking off work today, didn't sleep worth shit last night, very restless.

Got in my protein, easier than I thought it would be. Water on the other hand is much tougher, but doable.

Back to work tomorrow, busy, busy. But, it's the weekend! I need to go shopping for a surprise baby shower and then grocery shopping for the soft foods phase (yay!).


Monday, November 28, 2011


Is it normal to be completely and utterly scared at one week post op??!

I'm freaking out about all the bad stuff. It's awful, I'm so afraid of failing myself and this tool. :(

I'm so scared and feel alone, but I know I'm not. I don't want to feel like this, I was so confident before. Why now?!

I decided to go to bed early tonight, because I'm going back to work tmrw. I guess I'm nervous about that, making sure I can get my protein and water in there.

I developed this freakin' painful red lump under my arm, like, on my side boob and of course have bad thougts about that now too. Ugh! I honestly think it's the new sports bra my mom got me to wear while I'm healing, it rubs right there.

I think I'm conditioned to be negative, but I was making great progress on that, so I will fix that.

On another note, got in 67 grams of protein today, and about 4-5 cups of water (32-40 oz). Not the best, but good nonetheless. I'm also finding that all I'm eating during full liquids is my protein shakes (milk or water), and puddings (sugar free of course). Not a big soup person or jello. Guess that's okay, only one more week to go until soft foods!! Yay!

Okay, that's enough for now, ciao!

Meet Me On Monday!

Blogging is a funny thing...we tell our most intimate thoughts for all to read and yet most of the time I find myself sitting and wondering, "who is this person!?" I know them...but yet I don't know them! I want to know who the person is behind all those words so I thought of a great way for all of us to "meet" each other!

Every Sunday Never Growing Old will post five get to know you questions that you can copy and paste into your own Monday post and we can all learn a little more about each and every one of us!!

Java will add a linky so we can follow who participates and get to know them better!! Be sure to link the POST and not just your whole blog!!


1. I really need to clean my _________?
2. What food makes you think of Christmas?
3. If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be? 
4. What was your first paying job?
5. Have you read the Twilight series?

My Answers:

1.       I really need to clean my _________? I'm not sure, my bf has been taking care of the cleaning the past week, so nothing really. But eventually my closet/drawers! :P

2.      What food makes you think of Christmas?
Anything red/green together. 

3.      If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be?
Oh boy, I have NO idea, I'm only 26, I haven't lived long enough to choose, so I won't.

4.      What was your first paying job?  Mutzabaugh's Market and babysitting.

5.      Have you read the Twilight series?  Yes, LOVE them.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

The World According to Eggface

I have been reading blogs for a long time, and have had one myself since I was about 15.

I am absolutely in LOVE with theworldaccordingtoeggface! Her recipes are fantastic, and I can't wait to try more now that I actually have a lap band. :)

I am hoping to win this giveaway she has going on right now for the holidays, check it out:

A new day.

Can't sleep. This surgery has my sleeping patterns all messed up.

I did much better with the protein today, was able to get in 78 grams. Not as much water as I wanted, but about 6 cups.

Is it normal to feel insanely bloated and full after only about 2-3 oz. of liquid? It's driving me nuts. It takes forever to get 8 oz. down, even water. But I'm doing it, guess that's all that matters. Steady and slow, this isn't a race. :)

I just can't wait till about 7-8 more days so I can have eggs, oatmeal yummy mushies. :)

That's all for mow, back to my movie watching.


Saturday, November 26, 2011


That's the noise my stomach has been making all day today. Ugh! It's like a demon baby trying to escape, it's sooooo loud and kind of annoying sometimes.

It needs to keep it down in there. I did rather well with my protein/water intake today. I was able to get in 68 grams of protein and TONS of water, lost count after 9 cups. Working on a few more, even though it's technically Saturday already. It got a bit easier, hopefully tomorrow is good too. I just am worried about returning to work and making sure I have stuff with me, so I'm not struggling.

I just can't wait to start the soft foods stage, here I come eggs and oatmeal! :P

Did some shopping at the mall today, it was a bit nuts, even for me. I usually have decent patience, not today. lol. We left there and I was pretty much passed out an hour later, tired and hungry. Blah. Probably go back out later today to Target/Kohls and who knows where else.

Well, that's about it for now, getting a bit tired and hungry (again!), probably just go to bed at this point.


Friday, November 25, 2011

I'm alive! :)

I'm here! Just been busy and relaxing. It's been a long two days. Two days already? lol. Yes.

Wooh. Well, basically, my surgery was set for 2:15p and I was to arrive at 1p for check in. I got there around 1245-1p, got all checked in and weighed (269) and then I was called back to the waiting area to get gowned up, IV'd, pee, etc. My mom and Brian came back then around 1:30ish. Well, then we found out that Dr. Davidson had an emergency surgery right before we got there and he was now behind. :( This made things a bit more tense for me, as I starving at this point. I took naps on and off, watched some TV, chatted. I was finally told I would be going around 7p for surgery. Woo hoo!

Surgery was a great success! Dr. Davidson told my mom I was "textbook", it was that easy, no complications whatsoever, no hernia, etc. Yay! I got out of recovery around 9ish and got to my room at 9:15p. My mom and Brian were there waiting for me, but I was pretty much passed out still, so they left. I was then in and out of sleep the rest of the night/morning. Not the most comfortable sleeping situation, BUT it was nice to be catered on ALL night long.

I got up and walked the hall once around midnight, had some vicodin at 12:30a, then slept til about 2a. At this point, couldn't sleep much. I was able to have ice chips, water, juice and a popsicle through the night/morning.  I had some more vicodin at 6:30a and pretty much watched some tv til about 9, slept again, then called Brian to head on over as I was told my discharge papers were ready. We got out of there around 11. We then headed over to the Clinic to pick up a sample bag of their products. Then we headed to CVS to get my vicodin filled and to pick up some random stuff. And home was finally in site, yay!

Slept a whole bunch on and off yesterday, tried my hardest to get in lots of water and protein. It was tough and still is as I end the clear liquid face, I'm hoping tomorrow when I start the full liquids it will get a bit easier. :/ I slept til 11am this morning and then got up, showered and headed to my mom's for Thanksgiving. Got there around noon or so. Brian had a nice dinner and got TONS of leftovers and desserts for himself. I slept a good bit after I popped some vicodin. I had a jello there and 2 things of protein (clear) liquids (one beef and one peach/mango). I also am finding that when I start getting major gas pains in my tummy, I take 2 of the gas x strips on my tongue and it helps to release it. Yay! But I had major gas pain earlier and walked it off. Then we headed to his mom's house in Harrisburg for another dinner around 6pm. He had some more food while I relaxed on the couch and played some UNO. I stood up a bit and walked around too. There I had some more vicodin around 8p and had a bunch of water/protein drinks. We watched the Ice Age christmas special and then the Very Gaga Thanksgiving (loved it!).

And here we are now. Just got home a bit ago, drinking another protein drink (grape) and I actually like this one a lot. My incisions are doing great, just itchy right now. Still getting LOTS of gas pains, but also getting them out as well. Sitting here now watching some tv and reading some magazines. :) Tomorrow, I believe we will be venturing out in the afternoon/evening to get some Bath and Body Works stuff with our coupons and the deals going on.

I'm a bit worried about being able to get the recommended protein amount and the water intake. And also about figuring out of my soft stops, I can't stop thinking about it. A bit stressed about that part and it's only been 2 days, so I know I'll figure it out eventually, just don't want to screw this up.

Well, this is all for now, still a bit fuzzy and tired.


Tuesday, November 22, 2011


Dr. Davidson is running behind, had an emergency. Waiting patiently...

Monday, November 21, 2011

Meet Me On Monday!

Blogging is a funny thing...we tell our most intimate thoughts for all to read and yet most of the time I find myself sitting and wondering, "who is this person!?" I know them...but yet I don't know them! I want to know who the person is behind all those words so I thought of a great way for all of us to "meet" each other!

Every Sunday Never Growing Old will post five get to know you questions that you can copy and paste into your own Monday post and we can all learn a little more about each and every one of us!!


1. I wish I had more time to _________?
2. What is your favorite kind of soup?
3. Where will you eat Thanksgiving dinner? 
4. What is your favorite time of day?
5. Did you start Christmas shopping yet?

My Answers:

 1. I wish I had more time to _________?Spend with family.

2. What is your favorite kind of soup?
Tomato soup, potato soup and clam chowder.

3. Where will you eat Thanksgiving dinner? 
Nowhere this year, right out of a cup filled with water and most likely jello/pudding, protein powder. Or all of the above, lol.

4. What is your favorite time of day?
Evening, between 7-11p

5. Did you start Christmas shopping yet?Nope, not really in the mood yet.

Getting banded in t-minus 14.45 hours. Woot woot! Trying to stay up late, watch some movies/tv, relax, drink my water before midnight and then only can have 6 oz. between midnight-9am. :( Then things get real. Nothing to eat/drink after 9am until after surgery. Surgery is scheduled for 2:15p, I am to be at the hospital at 1p. My mom is picking myself and Brian up and we'll be heading there around noon. 

See ya on the flip side!!


Nervous, excited, anxious, hopeful, determined.

That is all.

More tomorrow.

Friday, November 18, 2011


It’s Friday and that means it’s time for another installment of BYOC! That’s Bring Your Own Crazy brought to you from the FABULOUS DRAZIL!! We answer 5 questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy and paste to your own blog if you so desire – and ENJOY!

I’m going to do a Thanksgiving themed BYOC this week (it was Jenny’s idea)!
1. What is your FAVORITE part of Thanksgiving?

Being with family, we (Brian and I) go to my mom's for dinner around 2p, but we usually get their a couple hours earlier. Then we hang out for a bit and then head to his mom's in Harrisburg, where we eat more. Blah! Then we head home and sleep. :)

2. How many Thanksgiving family events will you attend?
2, same every year. This year MAY be different though. Depends on how I'm feeling after surgery (which is 2 days before), but I have all intentions of going to both places.
3. What’s your biggest Thanksgiving tradition?
Um, I don't think we really have any to be honest. Just eating, watching tv (parade, football, etc), sleeping.

4. Do you Black Friday shop the day after Thanksgiving?

Yes, have been for years. I used to go with my dad/sis' for a while, but for the past 2 years I went with my mom and her friend Lori, we do it early (3-4a), breakfast, shop, lunch, shop some more. :) But not sure about that this year either, depends how I feel, I'll prolly venture out for a few.
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog world.
Real life: Well, work went WAY too slow this week, but I made it. Tonight, I'm going to see Breaking Dawn with my honey at 9:40. Then tmrw is Zumba at 9am, then not sure what else. I have to go shopping very soon to get my post-op supplies. Monday is back to work, then Tuesday is surgery day!!!! woo hoo!

Blog life: Been updating like crazy, reading everyone's posts. Can't wait to update next week about my journey.

4 days!

I can't believe it's only 4 days until surgery, aah! Nerves are def. hitting me now and all the bad negative thoughts are coming out. Ugh.

I just want to be on the road to recovery and starting the real journey of it all. I'm not having second thoughts or anything, but def. having thoughts of "what if this doesn't work for me?" or "what if i fuck this up for myself?". I know these are all normal, so I'm okay, just normal pre-op nerves.

I still have to go shopping for my supplies for the clear and full liquids portions of the post-op diet. That'll be 11 1/2 days worth, so hopefully I get enough and don't have to send people on a scavenger hunt. I have my food scale (for later in the process), got my first 2 containers of Unjury all ready to go.

Well, that's all for now since I'm writing this on my phone.

Ciao til next time...

Tuesday, November 15, 2011


I can't believe it's one week to go already! aaaah! Finally! Now let's hope for a speedy and safe recovery.

Support group last night was great, although I felt the speaker (Drayer PT) wasn't all that great and kind of boring. BUT, my surgeon was there! Can we say woohoo? :P After I got some hugs from Robyn and a "Please keep us update after surgery" (of course I will!), I walked over and talked to Dr. Davidson, yay! He walked over to me and said "Hi" and then I said "You are banding me next Tuesday" and he said "Banding?" and laughed with "banding" in quotes in the air. He said he never heard that used before, I laughed. He asked if I was excited and I said "Yes, very excited" and he basically said I'll do great and depending on how I feel that evening, I may be able to go home, which was news to me. But man, I do love him, he is soooooo handsome and charming.

On another note, still surgery related, I called my surgeon's office yesterday to make sure they received my EKG/blood test results for surgery. Found out that they did, BUT my potassium levels were high. Ugh! They said I had to have it re-taken again. Blah. BUT, I had blood taken 2 days after the blood results they have. So, I called that Dr. (my hematologist, I have low iron/high platelets, so I go every 6 months to monitor those levels), anyways, they said my potassium was perfectly normal and would fax that over to the surgeon. Whew! Now I just have to have my pregnancy test done Thursday at 4p and then we're set. And that should def. be negative, if not, we have a bigger issue, hehe.

Lost my train of thought and other things I wanted to say, that happens a lot lately. Ciao til later...

Monday, November 14, 2011

Meet Me On Monday!

Blogging is a funny thing...we tell our most intimate thoughts for all to read and yet most of the time I find myself sitting and wondering, "who is this person!?" I know them...but yet I don't know them! I want to know who the person is behind all those words so I thought of a great way for all of us to "meet" each other! 

Every Sunday Never Growing Old will post five get to know you questions that you can copy and paste into your own Monday post and we can all learn a little more about each and every one of us!!


1. Does your family/friends know about your blog?
2. What is your favorite card game?
3. What do you wear to bed? 
4. What is your favorite kind of French Fry?
5. What is your usual bed time?

My Answers:

1.      Does your family/friends know about your blog?
Yup, for the most part they do, no idea if any read it though.

2.     What is your favorite card game?
UNO! Which I'm addicted to right now on my iPhone. :)

3.     What do you wear to bed?
Undies, sometimes undies/shirt, sometimes nothing

4.     What is your favorite kind of French Fry?Um, I think the ones from Red Robin, yum!

5.     What is your usual bed time?10p-12am, it varies. 11p is the average.

Saturday, November 12, 2011


I just love going off my birth control and having a much longer than normal period. Loads of fun for me.

But anyway, it's gettin' down to the wire and I do believe I'm nervous now. Not nervous about the surgery itself, but nervous about failing myself in the process. But I'm okay otherwise.

Helped my parents move their pellets into their basement today and got a nice arm workout in the process. Didn't think we would be done in time for 11 o'clock Zumba, but I made it! And it kicked my ass. But I remembered why I prefer the 9am class better, not as crowded.

Anyways, ciao!

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

A couple questions...

Okay, been thinking about a few things and I need some advice.

First, do any of you bandsters carry FMLA through work for their band? I'm debating this.

Also, I need help with inner thighs, I'm talking about major chub rub, I need help! I've lost 16 lbs. this year, not sure where from on my body, but definitely not my inner thighs or thighs in general. Any advice or exercise ideas are greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Monday, November 07, 2011


RIP MJJ! Gone too soon.

"You Are Not Alone"

Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

But you are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone

Sunday, November 06, 2011


Thought I would put this out there, just goes to show what's on my mind...

I downloaded a song called "Weightless", but instead, titled the song "Weightloss".


Friday, November 04, 2011


Let’s get to what we came here for! 

BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy.

 A couple questions we answer to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy and paste to your own blog if you wish! Enjoy!  Thank you, Draz!!!

Let’s do another themed BYOC…..this one will be called 
“What’s In/On Your….?”
1. What’s on your desk between your monitor and keyboard? (if it’s a laptop – what’s on your desk in general)
Well, I am on a laptop and using a tray, so the only other thing is a tissue and a bottle of water. :)

2. What’s on your mind right at this moment?

Oh boy, where to start...lap band of course, surgery in 18 days, can't believe I finally made it this far. Ahhh! Can't wait to start feeling like "me". Other than that, just working, getting in doctor's appointments. 

3. What’s in or on your nightstand on your side of the bed?

In the nightstand = random stuff, books, book light, and other stuff. On the nightstand is a touch lamp, a book and usually a bottle of water and my glasses at night. 

4. What’s on YOUR Christmas wish list (let’s assume you’d get what was on it)?

Nail polish, makeup, books, Vera Bradley purse(s), zumba clothes, various charms for my bracelet, nose ring, a watch and hello kitty stuff.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

Real life: Just work, appointments, working out, lap band. Repeat.

Blog Life: Good. Posting a lot, it help me stay sane and keeps things from bottling up.


I had some minor pre-op testing today at my primary care doctor's office. I had to have an EKG and some blood work. Then on the 17th I had to schedule a pregnancy test for pre-op as well.

Read over my entire packet of info today, nothing I didn't already know, except the diet info; which is extremely helpful and even has recipes and shopping lists for the first month of diet phases. It's a bit overwhelming and much more real now.

18 days and counting...

I'm actually really happy that I was able to get it right before Thanksgiving, because I don't have to use as mych of my time at work. So I will now be okay for my post-op appointments.

Okay, more later.


Tuesday, November 01, 2011


I don't think my stomach likes iced mocha frappe's anymore. :( could be stress too. Plus, I guess I could really do without the 550 cals I just drank away. :(

BUT on a side note, I love the fact that I look forward to my zumba every day after work, yay! But I def need to include more weights, but it's always so busy! Guess I should use the ones at home then.

Also, Cat/Robyn, I would love to do zumba with you guys on a Sat sometime, let me know!


Monday, October 31, 2011

Meet Me On Monday!

From Never Growing Old it's Meet Me on Monday. Where we answer 5 questions to get to know each other better. This week's questions:
1. My current weather is _______? Cold and snow on the ground :(

2. What is your favorite sound? Music.

3. What is the worst flavor of ice cream? I don't think there is one, ice cream is my weakness :(

4. What magazine do you look for when you are stuck in the waiting room? Cosmopolitian, Glamour, ect.

5. What is your favorite condiment? A1 for sure!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Official letter!

Versatile Blogger!

Versatile: ver-sa-tile [vur-suh-tl] or, especially British, [vur-suh-tahyl]: capable of, or adapted for, turning easily from one to another various tasks, fields of endeavor, etc.: a versatile writer.
Word information source:
Here is how the award works:
1. You thank the person who presented you with the award.
2. You tell 7 things about yourself.
3. You award 15 other newly discovered bloggers.

I would love to thank Cat for nominating me for this award, my first one ever! I met Cat at our monthly support group 2 months ago. She introduced herself to me and I also met her BFF Robyn at support group as well. I think it's great that I was able to meet these 2 inspirational women before my journey begins, even though in my head, it's been going on forever. Love reading her blog and can't wait to share in my successes with her.

7 things about me....

1. I love the 80's! Everything about the decade fascinates me. The fashions, the music, the language, ect. ect. I believe I was def. born in the wrong decade.

2. I am 26, but feel older, not much, but I want to feel 26 and I want to live my life how I always saw fit. Being me, being confident, being happy and just doing me, with my love. A huge reason I'm doing this for myself (lap band).

3. I LOVE music. I listen mostly to dance, techno, trance, dubstep, pop, pop-rock, r&b, some rap, VERY little country (like 5 songs), jazz and alternative.

4. I enjoy reading. I love mysteries, real crime, magazines, vampires, fantasy, ect.

5. I can't wait to start my lap band journey!!! :)

6. I love to write, but I feel like I've lost a bit of that this year, just a lot going on and lost focus. Would love to work for a paper, magazine or TV station, but most won't take only a 2 year degree with slim experience. I was working on a poetry book, but it's still not finished...someday.

7. I love doing my nails, in fact, in the past year, I've become rather obsessed with nail polish, nail art, nails in general. Would love to go to school for this, but can't find anything close enough.

Now the fun part, other bloggers to nominate. From the rules, it's supposed to be blogs that I have recently discovered.

Amy @ Amy's Quest
Sandy @ Losing Pounds and Gaining...Me
Keelie @ REAL FAT
Rockband Barbie
Laura @ Beer, Dogs, and Getting Healthier
Leslie @ Band Sweet Band
Angela @ Repair and Renovation
Rhonda @ The Cozy Coconut

Friday, October 28, 2011


It’s Friday and time for BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy! A couple of questions we answer to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy to your own blog and enjoy!

1. When did you begin blogging? Do you plan to do it a long time or do you think you’ll stop after a while?

I've been blogging for years, I had an old livejournal, then a xanga and now a blogger. :)

2. What do you enjoy more - blogging yourself or reading other’s blogs?

Both, but more so reading others.

3. What’s the biggest thing blogging has taught you? Biggest surprise about blogging?

To be real, just let it all out. I don't think there's any real surprise for me.

4. Have you met any other bloggers in real life – solely because of your blog or theirs?

Well, technically that's how I met by awesome love Brian, through Xanga, but I would love to meet fellow bandsters.

5. Does your blog have a general theme as in one topic or do you cover everything and anything?

Mostly for lap band, but does cover pretty much every aspect of my life.

6. Are you public or anonymous? Whichever you are – do you ever wish you were the other?

Public, no shame and nothing to hide. Never really wish I was private.

7. What’s your best blogging advice for a new blogger?

Just be honest.

8. Does anyone in your real life read your blog/know it’s address? Do you wish they would or wouldn’t?

I know people know about it, whether or not they read it, no idea.

9. Do you enjoy blogging or do you view it as a chore? How often do you blog?

Def enjoy it! I try to do at least once a week, but sometimes more just comes out.

10. Do you tell people in your real life that you blog? Or keep it a secret?

Yes, occasionally.

Thursday, October 27, 2011


I'm approved!!!!!!

Last nutritionist appointment before surgery next Thursday at 10am. I will get my surgery date that day!!!

I'm so excited!!

*dances around*

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


I really hates doctors, not the dr's themselves, but the whole time I'm there, i feel like a complete failure.

Had an allergist/asthma apptointment today, first the scale says I'm 3 lbs. heavier than I thought, then my bp says like 160/104! I literally said said outloud 'holy shit!'

So frustrated.

Oh yeah and yesterday I stepped on some sort of hole/dip in our yard and I'm pretty sure I have a slight sprain and then went to zumba on it. Yeah, I'm smart like that.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Still waiting...

I haven't been feeling much like myself lately. Still not eating the greatest, but trying really hard to. I spoke with my surgeon's office last week (Thurs or Fri) and the insurance coordinator said Highmark is dragging their feet for all lap band patients, ugh! She said they told her 4-8 weeks, after I just spoke to someone the week before that said 4-6 weeks. How frustrating!

This Friday will be 6 weeks, I think I will give Highmark a call myself and see.

Blah. I'm just ready to get this journey started and to feel like a normal person for once in my life. I'm fluctuating between 269-271 the past week, driving me nuts! I want to stay under 270, but I always do something to sabotage it. This week will be tough though, so I HAVE to try harder. I did Zumba tonight, tomorrow = Halloween parade, but I should be able to hit Zumba before that (this a maybe), if not I will go to Wed nights Zumba at 8, Thursday is trick-r-treat from 6-8, so no gym that day at all. I will have to make up for this Friday most likely.

I'm trying sooooo hard, but I feel like it's not hard enough.

Yesterday Brian and I went to my BFF's mom's birthday/breast cancer awareness party. Had a good time. Got to hold my BFF's 4 month old baby, love her!! I held her for a while, fed her, loved her up and MAN, my arms are killing me!! But in a good way, so I told my BFF that I need a baby now. haha. NOT...until I lose this excess weight, I insist.

Not much else going on, took a personal day today, so did Brian, just had some stuff to get done, so it was nice. Back to work tomorrow, ugh! Not feeling it this week, but I have to save my time, just in case.

Ciao! Til next time...

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Another day...

Still nothing from Highmark, ugh!!

Going out to dinner tonight for work with a law firm at an authentic Italian restaraunt called Gabriella's. Yummy!

I'm super frustrated with myself though. :( I told myself to eat light today because of this outing (and no working out today)...I failed. So frustrating.

Then tomorrow is our dinner/dancing gathering for work at the Hershey Lodge, so, once again, no gym tmrw. However, there will be a good band tmrw, so I will dance my ass off!! I will try harder to do light eating tmrw, ugh.

I want to get my lap band now! :P

I think I'm stress eating and probably overloading myself just because.


Thursday, October 13, 2011


Yesterday was food day at work. My original plan was to not bring anything, so I didn't eat anything. But my lovely BF convinced me to bring something so he could eat. So, I made a veggie pizza and everyone loved it.

Well, I ended up eating pretty bad. Not a lot of food, but what I ate was pretty terrible. Let's see, 2 kinds of buffalo dip, diet pepsi, meatballs, pasta salad(s), hashbrown casserole, ect. ect. THEN we had all kinds of yummy desserts (my weakness), I had red velvet cake, pumpkin whoopie pie, angel food cake with chocolate sauce, dirt pudding...

I don't know what my freakin' deal is! Then today, this lady at work who has been taking cake decorating classes, made another one of her delicious cakes (with fondant, which I have a new love for) and I decided I was going to have a piece, and not a real small one either. :(

Why do we do this to ourselves? So frustrating. I need to do something about the mental part of this, I know things will change once I actually have the band, but I can't keep eating like this every now and then. I hit the gym after work today for zumba, love it! I need to start back up on the strength training though too.

I have been looking into the body bugg and various other calorie trackers, preferably something accurate. However, I didn't realize there's a monthly membership to pay for. So, now the body bugg is out as an option. Anyone have any ideas for something that accurately counts calories burned that I can wear that isn't bulky or uncomfortable? Thanks ahead of time.

This is week 4 of waiting for approval/denial. I'm still going insane, but hiding it a bit better. I have to say, I have been pretty much been wishing the days away, one at a time.

Ciao for now!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


So I recently signed up for a site called BzzAgent ( It's free to sign up, you take surveys to start, answer questions about yourself. Then, at some point you will be invited to join a "bzzcampaign", you can up your chances by being a social media butterfly (FB, Twitter, blogger, ect.) and also by checking back often on your BzzAgent page for new surveys. It took about 3-4 weeks for me to get my first invitation, which is a lovely samples/perks for Fekkai hair products.

What I received.

I received 8 oz. bottles of the Glossing Shampoo and Glossing conditioner, as well as a DVD/guide on Fekkai (history, ect) and samples to hand out for the Glossing cream (for frizz free hair!). 

After my workout tonight, which was a lovely hour of Zumba with Lisa at the Y, I was sweating and ready for a shower and excited to try some new shampoo/conditioner. First, the texture of the shampoo is thick and feels so luxurious. Next, the application was perfect, didn't need too much of the product to get a decent lather (this is essential, since I have super thick hair). And can I say, the smell! Whew! Love it! And this is no exaggeration, it's like a lime mojito, delish! The conditioner was just as awesome as well, it's a very light texture and went on silky smooth and smelled so yummy! I usually leave my conditioner on for a few minutes while I bathe/shave. 

Once I got out of the shower, dried off and dressed, I could not stop running my fingers through my wet glistening hair, with no tangles, may I add. 

I give this product an A+. 

Monday, October 10, 2011


1. If you were given $1,000,000 that you had to spend ONLY ON would you spend the money?
A nice modest house, a  trip to Europe for 2, a puppy, a new car, and probably some nail polish. Then I would save the rest.

2. Who would you say is the one person that's had the most influence on your life? By that, I mean the person that has molded you in to the person you are today?

My mom, for sure. I am a part of her and she is a part of me, and we've def. have become closer as I grow older.

3. What is your normal morning routine? Are you a bear in the morning, or is the morning your favorite part of the day?
Wake up between 7-710, throw on clothes, take pills, grab lunch, grab milk for cereal, leave for work at 720. Work is at 730. :) I love living so close , some days.  

4. If you're a Facebook and Twitter user, which do you prefer and why? If you're just a Facebook user, what do you think of the new changes? 

Def. Facebook over Twitter, their both completely different from each other, but I like keeping in contact with friends/family through Facebook better.

5. Repeat was your week in real life and in blog land this week? 
Real life: Last week was not so great, very stressful at work and in general. I didn't do very well with eating and didn't exercise as much as I would have liked, ended up sick in the stomach 4 days in a row. :( Guess that would explain why I came home from support group and had cramps and my TOM arrived.
Blog life: Trying to keep up with reading everyone's posts, including old ones so I can see more experiences, makes me feel not as alone as I sometimes do.