Monday, November 28, 2011


Is it normal to be completely and utterly scared at one week post op??!

I'm freaking out about all the bad stuff. It's awful, I'm so afraid of failing myself and this tool. :(

I'm so scared and feel alone, but I know I'm not. I don't want to feel like this, I was so confident before. Why now?!

I decided to go to bed early tonight, because I'm going back to work tmrw. I guess I'm nervous about that, making sure I can get my protein and water in there.

I developed this freakin' painful red lump under my arm, like, on my side boob and of course have bad thougts about that now too. Ugh! I honestly think it's the new sports bra my mom got me to wear while I'm healing, it rubs right there.

I think I'm conditioned to be negative, but I was making great progress on that, so I will fix that.

On another note, got in 67 grams of protein today, and about 4-5 cups of water (32-40 oz). Not the best, but good nonetheless. I'm also finding that all I'm eating during full liquids is my protein shakes (milk or water), and puddings (sugar free of course). Not a big soup person or jello. Guess that's okay, only one more week to go until soft foods!! Yay!

Okay, that's enough for now, ciao!


  1. I don't know about anyone else but when I had elective surgery (read lipsosuction) several years ago, I went through a period of complete elation and then started to feel a bit embarassed, angry... some people even say they get depressed. Its a major procedure you went through I'd think the comflicting emotions are normal. One foot in front of the other!!

  2. It's normal. I went through a "What was I thinking?" phase, followed by the "Why the hell did I get this band if I'm so hungry?" phase well before getting to the "OK...feeling better about everything" phase. You'll get there sweetie!

  3. I'm sorry! I definitely had a few freak out moments and thinking that I would fail. But the more time passed and I started losing weight, those thoughts are very rare. You'll do great!

  4. I had my freak out moments too... You will have great days and bad days... just hang in there!

  5. Completely normal... you will be fine. One day at a time. Hugs xx

  6. Absolutely normal. I remember crying to Robyn on the phone that it was the worst thing I every purposely did to myself. You'll be fine dear, just keep working the rules. I swear, nothing was better for me food wise then when I moved to mushies and could eat a scrambled egg. Heaven!

  7. Thanks everyone! I figured it was pretty normal, but I was pretty down last night and still kind of am. I want to be able to do every single rule and make this happen for myself. Just a funk I guess. :)

  8. Totally normal!! Hang in there. I was in tears for about 3 days straight.

  9. I was depressed from months.... no idea why though. I even brought it up in my first support grop and Dr. Weigart assured me that almost everyone goes through feelings of depression.
    Being afraid of failing, honey, I still feel that. But we will not let each other fail!!!!