I feel like I need a good writing session. I haven't been the best bandster the last few weeks. I'm frustrated with myself, upset, motivated, procrastinating, willpower seems lacking. I don't know what the deal is. It's the food, I'm still getting to the gym quite often, very active. Just been really busy, so feeling a bit overwhelmed doesn't help either.
The eating is bad, especially on the days I truly can not get to the gym or come home and workout. I feel like I've gained and I'm pretty sure my scale will say the same this Sunday, we'll see. I was at 215.2 this past Sunday, which was a .4 gain. That's not as bad as I thought, maybe my metabolism is getting better? Not sure. But the eating is really bad. Truly awful decisions. I'm still making sure to get in my protein/watching calories/sugar and water intake, but a few days I went WAY over my calories of 1200, I like to be less, but it was way above. Ugh! But lately I've been eating WAY too many snacks and eating extra food at work from left over meetings, etc. I don't know why I can't just say no to it. Oh yes, and drinking more and more soda lately. I need to stop this NOW. I had 2 cans today of diet coke/pepsi and then a diet pepsi at the Y during child watch. So frustrating. I never really drank soda before, I don't know why I am now. I'm pissing myself off. Majorly.
I need to get this shit under control, or I will not see my goal by December of being under 200 lbs. I need this, I want this, I have to have it. I need to do this, I need to remind myself why I did this, why I'm doing this, why I need these changes in my life, why I need to push forward constantly, no matter how hard it gets. And I can tell when I eat something wrong/fast/too sugary/etc., my body hates it. It's not meant to be. I need to stop these bad lifestyle behaviors stat.
Had a bit of an issue at work today. We have this lady, I'll call her "Betty", she's 62 I think (or 61). She's always been very negative, very worried all the time, very overwhelming, demanding, rude and deceitful. Unfortunately, I had to work VERY closely with her, we're both secretaries for our department. It sucks. She has her good side, truly, everyone does; however, her bad side far outweighs the good. She's a miserable, nosy, has to be in your business and state her 'opinion' about everything. It's usually non-work related and she will complain to anyone and everyone. Funny thing is, nobody really likes her, because of this bullshit. Well, anyways, I got pulled into a conference room today by my supervisor at 7:45 am and I pretty much knew it was something she said. So, basically she complained to our HR manager that I get in my gym clothes too early. I usually do it 15/20 mins before I leave for the day. I like to be able to get to the gym and get a good workout in. And my HR manager had the nerve to tell my supervisor in the bathroom while they were both urinating (males) at urinals. My supervisor is awesome, he can't stand the petty bullshit either and we just laughed and laughed about her nonsense for about 30 minutes. She's crazy! You do NOT mess with my workout time, you just don't, everyone knows that. So now, according to HR, I can't get dressed until I clock out. Awesome. NOT! Stupid cunt. I can't wait until I leave there or she retires. PARTAY! She also complains about peoples clothes, hair, how "busy" she is (she's not), if someone takes a break, takes too long of a lunch, is in the bathroom too long, leaves early and didn't tell her, travels for business, I mean, it's that ridiculous. I'm over her. Grrr.
Off to finish watching Criminal Minds, reading some magazines, and relaxing.
