Monday, June 17, 2013

Self sabotage

I am so ashamed, depressed, disgusted, etc. etc. It's been a really tough 3-4 weeks. Work has been crazy busy and stressful. I ate really bad for about 2 weeks at work, pizza, cake, chocolates, sodas, chips, bagels, etc. I kept telling myself not to, yet I did, over and over, every single day. Just looked on here and saw I was at 190.2, how sad. :( As of my weigh in yesterday, I'm 194. I was even higher, around 195.6.

I've broken down multiple times in the past week, just getting so overwhelmed lately. I have been doing much better for the past week, so I feel a bit better.

I'm just so upset with myself for letting myself go. I'm the maid of honor in my bestie's wedding this Saturday, so I was worried about that, but thank god I still fit in the dress, with about 1/2-1 in take in too. But then, last Friday my mom took me shopping and it was absolutely horrendous. I was able to order my long line bra for my wedding dress and a strapless bra for the wedding I'm in this week. BUT we went to Ross and Kohl's and could not find shit. I probably tried on like 30-40 items. I got 2 new pairs of work out pants, that's it. I'm like in between a 14 and 16. Grrr!

I'm so frustrated and really depressed, which is so unlike me. I have an appointment on July 5th at 1pm, and I plan on getting part of my fill put back in. He took out 3/4 of a CC, but it was just enough that I can eat a cup or more at a time and I get hungry like 2 hours after, sometimes sooner! Insane!! I want at least 1/4 put back in, just hoping it doesn't cause issues again...*sigh*



  1. Don't be disappointed in yourself, when you start a new job there are all sorts of new pressures that come with it. Blah blah blah. But you're on the right path now, so just think about that! :)

  2. Hang in there, Megan- you need to look at the whole picture. You are just having a little set back unless you let it do you in.